My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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