I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
