You made me cry and you don't even care
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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