I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
