btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I fill condoms, not promises.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
