Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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