you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
