He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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