Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
