this beer tastes like vomit already
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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