i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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