So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
