She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just threw up on my dentist
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize