Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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