I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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