craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
