I've blown a few things in my day
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
