So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
