i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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