There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
