there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize