We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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