just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He felt like a one man threesome
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Randomize
