I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize