I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
