I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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