I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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