I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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