I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
