I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize