Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Rumble strips road head = magical
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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