His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
