so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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