Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
These tits shall not be calmed
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
