No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
