Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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