dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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