im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
