and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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