let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
