Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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