my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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