We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
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drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
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I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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