Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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