hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
