You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
