no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
