...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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