Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
