First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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