the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i will never coherently bang her
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I will be naked everywhere
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
