the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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