Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
