He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
