she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
