Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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