Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
