he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
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Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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