i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
