Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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