yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
