I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
